When did I become like this? I'm not being myself. I am not like this before. Since January 2012 and Midterms started, I consciously skip classes. My mostly skipped subjects are: Sociology, Theology, Logic, Math and Biology. The reason I sometimes skip a class is that, I don't have homework, or I just don't feel like attending the class and a friend is being a bad influence. I find the last reason, funny. I know it's always up to my decision whether I'll let that person influence me or not. I just sometimes let it go and just go with the flow. Now I'm struggling between guilt and shame. I don't know how to fix myself from this. I mean, this is bad. What I'm doing is bad. I'm being like a stubborn kid who doesn't care for her future. I'm not like that, really.
The guilt I am feeling right now is getting deeper into me. I'm being pessimist and just going with the flow of the wind, wherever it may take me. Now that my parents aren't in good terms, I am unable to think clearly. My family problem is quite a problem too, for me, for us. I don't know what to do anymore. For sure my grades on the end of our Midterm is very low. Mom will scold me, she'll hate me. I can't turn back time. I won't be able to catch things up and make up with it. Maybe I'll just sit in a corner and cry for my mistakes. Maybe I'll try to clear up my mind and relax for a bit. Say sorry and that I'll just make things better next time? I don't know. This isn't just simple, this is too complicated to correct. Ah, my head hurts from thinking.
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